Saturday, June 30, 2007

Announcement

If you have a website or a blog and would like to be listed on Paul's faves, write to Paul at geehawpaul@yahoo.com.

MOLLY!

Gosh Paul, is there any chance we can get a picture *without* you all up in it?


Molly here. How are you? I'm the other mule who lives here and I am happy to have the chance to fill in for Paul today. Paul will not be making a comment today. I am making the comment because Paul is mad. Paul had to work into the rains today. That is unfortunate for Paul. I am sorry to hear that Paul had to get ridden in the rain this afternoon. Are you sorry for Paul? Because *I* am sorry for Paul.

(Editor's Note: I cannot type any more of these lies. The truth is that Molly loathes Paul.)

Okay, may be not every body runs up and hugs me and talks to me like every one does with Paul. But I am the mule that the children like. I am the mule that gives rides to the children and gets lots of pets on the nek. I am also the mule that is not so #*@% big that he takes up all of the room into the trailer and has to have a special bridle and bit and saddle. I am The Normal one. So if you want a normal mule, I'm the one you want. Not that other one.

So like I said, if you want to hear about normal, exciting mule things, I am the one to ask. If you want to hear about foooooooood, or about som body's feeeeeeeeeeet, or about how hongry he is, fine, go talk to Paul. I hope to be making another comment into the future at som point, so stay tuned.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Shout Out

Hey to all my peeps in New Zealand, which is not the same place as Australia. Hey to my peep in India and the one in Brazil (in Rio de Janerio? or in Sao PAULO?) And to teh person down in Chile where the grapes grow. Big ups to all the East Coast players, teh high rollers in the Midwest and my homies in Cali and the West Coast.

When You're Big

My Defy Teh Fly leg bands came into the mail today from Adams Pet Supplies. I put them on first thing this afternoon and they are too small to go around mah leg. It's hard to find things that fit when you're big. I cannot Defy The Flys until she fixes them.

Come Back Tomorrow

The guest commentary has been posponed until tomorrow when Mah Editor can remember to bring the camera to take a picture of the guest. I must say, the sense of personal responsibiltys in our society has gone straight down the toilet.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

List of Grievances

Important Announcement

Tommorrow there will be a surprise Guest Commentator.

I Has Visitors!

42 different people came to see me yesterday and I bleeve some one has even visited me from Taiwan! That's in Asia. Got som body from the Northwest, too. Pacific Coast represent, woot!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

User Statistics

I been having her add som new things to this blog page. Tell all your friends to visit this blog so I can get dots on mah map up there. Don't let me be embarrassed by having a map without any dots onto it.

Secret map technology also lets me see where has people logged in from and see who is visiting mah page right now. Oh, hey, I see yoooo. Thanks for stopping by.

Monday, June 25, 2007

HOT!

Every year between 175 and 400 Americans die from extreme heat. Young childrens, elderly peoples, retired Amish draft mules and those who are sick or overweight are more likely to become victims.

Here are som guidelines from the AMA to help you beat the heat.

1. Drink plenty of water. Shove your way to the front of the water trough. Be there first thing when it gets filled up.

2. Limit intake of alcohol and caffeen. Hunh?

3. Eat less protein. "Foods that increase metabolic heat production also increase water loss." Hum, I did not know this. "It is best to eat smaller meals more frequently." I concur.

4. Wear light colored clothing. Or don't wear any clothing at all, except yer anti-fly mask.

5. Wear a wide brimmed hat. Or yer fly mask.

6. Avoid too much sunshine. Stay in your cinderblock shelter, or down at the end of the pasture where all the trees are.

7. Cover windows to block the sun. If you happen to hav a window. If you are like the majority of mules and do not have a window, disregard this one.

8. Stay inside with air-conditioning. See tip #7, above.

9. Plan your errands. If you hav any errands, that is.

10. Schedule strenuous work for early mornings and evenings. Or never. How about never?

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Thank You

Thank you to all the peoples who have written in to check on mah editor's sick granddad. The doctor took a picture of his lung today and it looks better. However, he has to stay another night just to make sure and to send in more antibiotic into the vein. Pill antibiotic is not as much good. We know that he is feeling much better because to day he was very hongry.

While we are on the subject of health, this might be an appropriate time for me to remind all of you that it is mosquito season. Be sure that you are up to date on all your vaccines (of course) but especially the one against Wes Nile. Wes Nile can kill you.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Emergency!

Not so many posts (or visits) this week. Mah editor's granddad has been into the hospital. He has got newmonias into his right lung and might get to go home tomorrow, depending on what is on the picture of his lung in the morning. In the meantime, he is laying into the hospital bed, getting his fluid in a vein. Do not worry, he is not having to be in the hospital alone, people have been with him all the time even at night.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

I Has a Crush

Fetish

Oh man, did you know if you do a search on YouTube for "mules" you get all kinds of videos of human ladies walking around in shoes with no backs?

I feel dirty.

Health News

I am a champ for the vet today.

Planet Unicorn Heyyyyy . . .

Sorry About That

Farrier came to see me yesterday and I was a real butt hole. Not mah fault! I has foot issues! I opologize.

(Editor's note: We have talked about this. You can do it!)

Monday, June 18, 2007

Kingdom Animalia

This is an animal that supposedly lives into the ocean. It is called an "octopus." This animal does not even appear to have a bone in him.

I am reasonably certain there is no such animal on earth. But just in case, I am only going to stick my feets in the pond a little ways from now on.

I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty

Today I get a haircut and a bath. I resist a little simply for the sake of argument. Peternarian is coming on Wednesday and I need to look squared away. I'm going to give him som blood and let him clean mah sheath.

En Vacances

Excuse the recent lack of post . . . mah editor has been out of town on a vacation. She went to the beach with her family. I was not invited. I was not inerested in going any way. Because, first of all, they all bought matching swimsuit trunks, pale bloo with white palm trees on them. Matchy-matchy is dorky. Plus, I don't want to wear that pattern of swim trunk. I would rather have a pair with flowers on them, vintage-like.

(I has already placed mah order!)

Second of all, I don't even think there is such a place called the beach. Because listen to this. There is no grass and no hays at the beach. All the water at the beach has been salted. And made-up animals live into the water, fish made out of jelly that will sting you, animals with eight arms that can hug you to death, fish with pointy teeth that can bite a mule in two with one chomp.

Sheesh, if she did not want me to go, all she had to do was say so. No need to make up fantasies.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

News Update

These men are fighting in an Islamic GeeHaw.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Hey Ladies

Hongry

Look Out!

CHICKON IN TEH PASTURE! CHICKON IN TEH PASTURE! STOMP IT! MASH IT! DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!

Oh, *ahem*, what I meant to say is, "O squiggly chicken bird, please com a little bit closer to me so that I can see you."

Still Hongry

Saturday, June 9, 2007

News About Mah Foot


Mah abcess is almost grown out. While I was walking around eating grass today, mah editor and Miss Paige were talking about how good mah feet are looking. Paige told mah editor how the feet looked when I first came to live here. They was full of holes. I never said anything, but that is why I used to hate to have the hoofs cleaned.

Mah editor does not much care for the Amish peeples. Now that I think about it, I don't either. When I want to go to som place now, I get in the *trailer* and *ride*. I got *lights* in the barn. And if I want to get groomed and fixed up inside, you know what? That's right, I got a *fan* blowing right down on me. Hear that music in teh background? That's playing on teh *radio*.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

I Got a Cinderblock Shelter

Cool in the summertimes, warm in the wintertimes.

Tennessee Stalking Horse

I wish Chief would stop following me around the pasture. He is kind of freaking me out.

Yer Health Is the Most Important Thing

Remember Lester? He's that guy I posted about a long time ago who was looking for a girl friend? Yeah, well, he has been bad sick with his belleh at the peternarians. I just wanted to say that I am happy that he is back at home again with his long dog Limo.

Lester would also like to add that he has got his own blog, so PHHHTTTTBBBT!

http://lessismore17.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Get 'Er Done

And so to bed.

Friday, June 1, 2007

I Got Skilz

I hav finally learned to help mah editor open a gate. We maneuver up to the gate. Then she leans way down and unlatches it. Then I must . . . resist . . . powerful urge . . . to bust through gate. Gate swings opens, we turn around and we walks through.

We cannot yet close the gate.

I thought I was too old to learn but it turns out I have a talent for this kind of thing. What can I say? I'm a mule, I got a big brain.